Captain Whinypants Goes to Watsonville

Let me tell you how to kick your own whiny, tired, cranky ass. Get up. Make and inhale coffee. Give yourself 5 minutes to sniff, snuffle, pout, mutter, and snivel. Walk the dog (and be kind, it's not her fault that you're cranky), then take a shower. Get in the car, give yourself a stern talking to, and drive off to a town you would never have thought to visit except that part of your responsibility on this trip is to fulfill the tiny dreams of others in small, cold, snowy Northeastern towns.

Go to your friend's cousin's coffee shop and drink a cup of brew so strong and good that it causes you to levitate. Go find a gas station and put more gas in the car.

Find a good beach and walk yourself until you're all better. Discover that this is the beach for sand dollars. All the sand dollars. Collect some. Breathe deeply. Do a little skip. Dip your toes in the water. Watch some ladies painting the ocean and the cliffs.

Spend a long time trying to decide whether the flowers that carpet the cliffs look more like the sun or fried eggs. Dig your toes into the sand and push off quickly. Do some more skips.

Go home and walk the dog. All better.