I planned a rest stop with close friends into my early itinerary, knowing that leaving home would feel overwhelming. Good for me on the self-care front, because it worked. I slept more than usual, ate well, walked miles, had long (mostly uninterrupted by a sweet 7-year-old) conversations with my friends, worked on the puzzle that is my car a bit more, started using Headspace again, and generally caught up with myself. I feel a little more solid now.
I lived in Boston (Somerville) during the practically obligatory 3-year, post-college stint that many northern New Englander's undertake, but it no longer feels like home. Most of my friends are gone from this area or have moved to the suburbs with the advent of marriage and children. I like that. I have no desire to be in the city. I want space and birds and trees and a place to walk without having to share precious space. I really enjoy the city, but at this point in my life, I want it for a little bit, and then I love being somewhere quiet more. Of course, I'm currently in a super dense neighborhood near the water in Quincy, MA (just south of Boston), so this afternoon I was treated to a very loud sing-along of some seriously expletive-laden rap lyrics from next door. There's a girl down the street repeatedly screaming right now, but I stuck my head out the door and it seems to be a dramatic re-enactment of some sort, because all of the parents are standing around as if nothing's going on and she's hanging from the top of a tree fort within full reach of the platform.
I'm thinking about flexibility right now, both mental and physical. I quit CrossFit over a year ago after a serious love affair with it for nearly 4 years. My shoulder tendonitis only went away permanently when I just stopped going for weeks and I felt self-induced pressure to focus heavily on my job. The end result is that I have gone from being incredibly flexible to being barely able to twist my body in any direction. My calves are so tight that I hobble through the first several steps of every day. I've gained a whole lot of weight. I made choices, these are the consequences. Thankfully, they're reversible.
On the flip side, my sense of mental flexibility is getting a workout, and it feels really good. I have been increasingly able to think on my feet and jump into anything over the past several years because my job required me to do that frequently. This serves me well these days when plans fall through or are too fuzzy to count on. Sometimes, that results in complete serendipity. I had a plan for a night in New Jersey, but it's not exactly working out, so I researched campgrounds and realized that there's a place in Pennsylvania that is on my bucket list and which has a campground. Hopefully that works out instead!
I'm heading south again tomorrow and am looking forward to some time on the road to listen to some podcasts or music. I've mostly been listening to silence in the car. I am an introvert, so this time gives me the space I need to recharge before I get to spend time with the next person I can't wait to see.
I'm looking forward. If you know me personally, then you've probably heard me say 'onward and upward' more than a few times. I feel as though that's my natural trajectory at this point. I'm settling into this. There are many firsts still to come, but I'm closing in on figuring out some basics, which will really help structure things as I move forward and help me to relax into this whole adventure.
Thanks for following along on this amazing journey! You can see more updates on my Instagram feed at tracingtheedge.